


Safe

by flowerfan



Category: Glee
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NYC, OCD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things feel off balance in the loft after Kurt and Blaine's friends leave the city.  Takes place right after 5x20.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> TW: anxiety, OCD.

The first time it happened Blaine didn't think anything of it. The loft had such an odd feel to it after everyone left – first Mercedes, then Sam, then Rachel. Artie was in L.A. doing a summer internship, and Elliott was teaching music at a swanky camp in upstate New York. It was just strange, being in the city by themselves, no one to invite over for dinner, or meet up with for coffee. Blaine thought he and Kurt were both feeling a little off balance. So when Blaine woke up one night to find Kurt sliding back into bed, just a few minutes after he thought they had both fallen asleep, it didn't make much of an impression on him. As long as Kurt let him curl back up on his chest, and wound his fingers into his curls, all was well.

After it happened a few more time, though, Blaine got curious. When Kurt slipped out of bed a few nights later, thinking Blaine was already asleep, he listened as hard as he could to try to figure out what Kurt was doing. It didn't sound like he was making warm milk, or sleep shopping on his laptop. Instead, Blaine heard a series of clicks and squeaks. Kurt was only gone for a few minutes, and then was back in bed, seemingly unaffected, snuggling right up behind Blaine.

Blaine didn't feel right pretending, so the next night he just concentrated on not falling asleep first, despite it being their normal pattern. When he didn't drop right off, Kurt gave him a quick kiss and a squeeze to the shoulder before sliding out of bed. Blaine heard the clicks and squeaks again, and then Kurt returned, slipping his arm around Blaine's waist and pulling him tight against his chest. "What were you doing?" Blaine asked softly.

Kurt didn't answer right away, snuggling his nose up against Blaine's hair. He tried again. "Kurt?"

"Oh, nothing. Needed some water."

Blaine knew Kurt already had a glass of water on his nightstand.

The next night Blaine stayed awake again, convinced he would press Kurt further if he wasn't more forthcoming. But then a few minutes after Kurt slipped out of bed, after the now expected clicks had begun, there was a crash and a startled yelp from Kurt. Blaine rushed out of their bedroom to find Kurt sitting in the dark by the front door, eyes scrunched together in pain as he clutched his foot. 

Blaine dropped down next to Kurt. "Hey, you okay?" It looked like Kurt had tripped over the cord to the new floor lamp they had bought - they hadn't quite decided on where to put it, although presumably they had just eliminated one placement possibility. "How bad is it? Can I see?"

Kurt took a deep breath and let go of his foot, grimacing as he flexed it carefully. "It's not broken or anything. But it really hurt there for a minute." He gave Blaine an apologetic look. “Sorry I startled you.”

“It’s no big deal, silly. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Blaine rubbed Kurt’s shoulder, the silkiness of his pajama top soft under his fingertips. "Want me to get some ice?"

"No, it's fine." Kurt climbed to his feet, leaning a hand against the wall, and gingerly took a step. "You can go back to bed."

"You're coming too, right?" 

A panicked look flickered across Kurt's face, and before he could make up some excuse, Blaine rose and gently cupped Kurt's cheek with his hand. "Kurt, I know there's something... Every night, you're out here.” Blaine watched Kurt’s shoulders tense as he prepared himself to deflect further. “You can tell me," he said softly. 

Kurt wouldn't meet Blaine's eyes. "I can't." 

"Well, how about you show me? Let me help you.” Come on, Kurt, he thought. It’s just me. “You shouldn't put too much weight on that foot, anyway."

Silence. 

Blaine figured it was now or never. He hadn’t ever brought this up with Kurt before, although he had thought about it a million times. Blaine didn’t know if letting on that he noticed Kurt’s occasional lapses into compulsive behavior would make it better or worse, but he hated that Kurt felt like there was something about himself he had to hide from Blaine. "Is it like the socks, and the sugar packets?"

Kurt's head snapped up, his eyes wide. "How did you...?"

"Kurt. I _know_ you. You gave me light blue boxers to wear the day of my NYADA audition. You always step with your right foot first when you get on to a subway, or an airplane. When you send a document to a professor, you open and close it four or five times to make sure it's the right one before you attach it and hit send."

"Just three times," Kurt mumbled. “Fine. You know me.” Kurt sighed, leaning his head on Blaine's shoulder and resting his weight against him. "I need to check the doors and windows before we go to sleep."

That explained the clicking noises. "Okay. I can help-"

"No, I need to do it," Kurt said quickly, pulling away from Blaine and stumbling as he stepped on his injured foot.

"Okay, I’m sorry, of course you can do it." Blaine agreed. He waited until Kurt steadied himself against the wall before speaking again, choosing his words carefully. "Would it be all right if I sat out here, or do you want me to go back in our room? Either is fine."

Kurt sighed again, rubbing a hand over his face. "You must think I'm nuts."

"I most certainly do not."

"My foot still really hurts." Kurt looked at Blaine. "Can I lean on you?"

"You can lean on me anytime.” Blaine smiled.

Kurt put an arm over Blaine's shoulder. "Do _not_ start singing."

"Fine, but ‘Lean On Me’ is a great song.” If Kurt had been any less fluttery Blaine would have started singing anyway, but he figured he wouldn’t press his luck.

Blaine helped Kurt back to the front door. Kurt proceeded to lock and unlock it several times, then did the same with each window and the entrance to the fire escape. Soon they were back in bed, Kurt nervously shifting back and forth from his side, to his back, to his side again, facing Blaine and looking worried.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Blaine asked, taking Kurt’s hand and holding it to his chest, rubbing his thumb back and forth along Kurt’s palm. 

Kurt shook his head, then leaned in until his forehead was resting against Blaine’s. Blaine could feel his warm breath against his cheek when he spoke. “I wish I had more control over things, sometimes. I know doing these little things don’t actually change anything, but… it makes me feel a little better.”

“If it bothers you, then we can talk about what we could do to help. But, Kurt,” Blaine pulled his head back and waited until he caught Kurt’s gaze, “it doesn’t bother me. You don’t have to feel self-conscious about anything with me.”

“But I know the door is locked already. I _know_ it. It’s ridiculous that I have to get out of bed and lock it again.” 

“No, it’s not. Besides, it’s just the two of us here now. You’re making sure we’re safe.”

Kurt held Blaine’s gaze for a long moment, then relaxed and crawled up next to him, digging his head into Blaine’s neck and wrapping himself around him. “Blaine Devon Anderson, you make me feel safe, too.”


End file.
